The Teen Outreach Through the Years: We learned and changed our approach to missions
“I don’t need an ambulance.” That was my initial reaction while my left foot bent backward attached to my climbing harness via a carabiner. An hour later I was sitting in a hospital having X-rays taken while a group of teens were on their way home. The day’s tragedy formed a bond between me and three teens that has remained strong for over the past 25 years.
The connections initiated at the teen center often extended beyond its walls, with many teens regularly dropping by our home. These casual visits evolved into deepening friendships that persist to this day. Teen girls sought out Antoinette eagerly, spending hours with her, engaged in conversation and laughter. However, one late night, a knock at our apartment door revealed anguished faces, tear-soaked and devastated. Shock enveloped them as they collapsed on the couch, overcome with grief. They recounted the tragic news of a younger sister's fatal car accident earlier that evening. In their despair, they sought comfort in the presence of Antoinette.
Our influence on others is often far-reaching and profound, yet we may never fully grasp the extent of its impact. In times of crisis, we see the fruits of what we have sown. Our journey is one marked by triumphs, adventures, heartaches, and failures. We do not claim to be the heroes of this story, but rather the actors who have learned through trials and tears the fragility of life. Our existence is messy, chaotic, and unscripted and we welcome others into this imperfect journey, recognizing that they are brought to us by God Himself. In response, we are called to love them as Jesus would love them. These virtues—love, compassion, and humility—serve as the guiding principles of our mission.
I share these two stories because our relationships with these young people forever changed us. Friendships forged through the teen ministry have continued well into adulthood and they often return when they begin raising their own families. Several of their children are now teens who join us at the teen center. The relationships begun while playing pool, hiking, or on an outdoor adventure retreat have continued for over 30 years.
I had the privilege of being a groomsman at the wedding of a 19-year-old. The picture of me, the old guy surrounded by young people in tuxedos is always startling, but I was a part of their lives and they were a part of mine. We had no idea what we were getting into but very early it was obvious that our ambitions were not always in keeping with the Spirit’s leading.
In 1993, the Non-Toxic Teen Center began serving youth in southern Wisconsin. Our rented downtown storefront provided a place for middle school and high school students to hang out on Friday and Saturday nights. One pool table and one foosball table attracted about 30 teens nightly. That first group of teens grew up and became parents, and for over a decade, we have been serving the second generation of young people with whose parents we have ongoing relationships. The teen center was incorporated and designated a 501©3 organization in 1995. It has operated from three locations during its more than 30-year tenure.
The downtown outreach was highly visible and well-received after its grand opening. A popular pizza joint was across the street and school buses passed the teen center on the way to and from picking up students every school day. After two years we relocated to the center of the community, away from the public eye and the downtown commotion. For 18 years we ministered unnoticed, invisible, and out of mind. A separate teen center opened downtown and gained some notoriety due to its relationship with the school system but after a year it closed permanently. It appeared that our longstanding outreach to students had been forgotten.
Before There Was a Teen Center
Antoinette, my wife, and I embraced a bi-vocational lifestyle from our college years, which continued through seminary and into full-time ministry. While I engaged in construction work, Antoinette took on office jobs to support our journey. Three years into our marriage, with the arrival of our first child, Antoinette transitioned to being at home. Our teamwork and missional commitment remained intact. Despite the shift, we continued to view our ministry as a shared endeavor.
As my visibility increased at the center, I naturally became the face of our mission. Operating solely with volunteers, our expenses were minimal, and donations remained modest. Motivated by ambition, I launched various programs and enthusiastically took on renovation projects in our quaint rented facility. We handled all the remodeling tasks ourselves, not only because we had the capability but also because fundraising was a responsibility I did not enjoy. It was easier to do the work than to take the time to raise funds.
In our endeavor to minimize expenses including legal and attorney fees, I took advantage of the public library (given the absence of the Internet in 1993) to draft our articles of incorporation and By-Laws. A governing board comprising four members was entrusted with overseeing the affairs of the non-stock corporation. My early responsibilities, as the co-founder and executive director of the teen center operations, were to manage the mission facility and the camp, conduct maintenance on the properties, train volunteers, and be present during the operation of the teen center activities and programs.
From its initial 1,000 square feet, our facility expanded to 2,000 and eventually to 3,000 square feet. The teen center became equipped with an indoor miniature golf course, featuring four commercial pool tables, air hockey, and a variety of additional games. It also boasted a concert stage where artists from across America performed. The challenge that came with such extensive expansions was staffing – we lacked both the personnel and the budget to sustain all these programs.
Within seven years, the ministry had tripled in size, but the financial and staffing burdens became overwhelming. The first program to be cut was the miniature golf course, providing instant relief to the expenses and stress levels. Despite the need to decrease expenses, the organization's expanding vision continued to propel us forward.
The Spirit of God used the first 18 years to teach valuable lessons on trust, faithfulness, and leadership. As our family grew I carried more of the ministry responsibilities but had much to learn. I prayed regularly asking God to open doors and increase our influence in the community but during seminary, the push to use business practices to guide ministry growth had influenced me greatly.
Antoinette and I began to question this approach and sought to discern how the gospel of Jesus makes a difference in our context. During this phase, we closely examined some of the trusted ministry approaches we had been trained to adopt. It marked a season that I fondly recall as the great unraveling, during which I found myself increasingly drawn to a more personal, loving, and human side of Jesus.
Following the terrorist attack on September 11, 2001, a striking contrast arose between our Jesus-centered approach to ministry and the growing frustration among the Christian spiritual leaders surrounding me. They were increasingly dismayed by the swift decline of the Christianized culture they had grown accustomed to. The rhetoric of "us against them" reverberated from numerous voices, leaving me grappling with how to navigate ministry in a culture largely divided by Christians engaged in conflict with prevailing cultural norms. Unsure of how to reconcile with such a polarized perspective, Antoinette and I agonized over what to offer our youth.
Christian leaders narrowed the scope of what they considered allowable for ministry partners. After much prayer, we decided to move away from the only brand of Christianity we knew. We felt alive but alone, liberated yet lonely, but at peace and encouraged. I had previously embraced ministry strategies created within a business model imagination driven by a visionary mentality championing statements like “co-leadership is no leadership.”[1] Success was measured by attendance and artificial outcomes. I chose to leave this model of ministry but did not know what something new and different should look like. Thus began our journey of discovery.
Frustrated by what we were seeing in white Christian circles fueled by angry temperaments toward anybody who disagreed with them, we wrestled with our missional crisis, I asked God, “Why aren’t you doing more here?” As far as I was concerned, it seemed God was not working the way I expected. In my prayers, I was complaining and voicing my annoyance to him. I reasoned that we were preaching the gospel and teaching the Bible and I felt betrayed. Then God spoke. My understanding of ministry was turned on its head and everything I thought I understood was exposed. I remember the encounter vividly. God lovingly leaned into my self-pity and answered my cries.
Though no sound was heard, the unmistakable voice of God was received. He began his reply by posing a question, and then proceeded to make a straightforward statement. This was God’s reply, “When did I ever say I was going to do that?” I was taken aback by his question. I had been educated and encouraged by Christian leaders that our way of evangelizing and operating a ministry was God’s way.
It took time to work through the layers that God’s question probed. But it was his follow-up statement that stunned me. God said, “I called you into ministry to change you.” To this day, decades later I still feel the awe of that encounter. I was forced to reflect on my ministry practices and motivations. All the ministry practices that gave me confidence and security were questioned and I was left feeling exposed and raw.
The Spirit revealed that my approach to ministry was influenced more by business principles than spiritual virtues. I had been conditioned to see myself as the sole leader, believing "I alone was the captain of this ship." I carried the entire burden of ministry on my shoulders and found satisfaction in this role, as long as it brought success. However, reevaluating what success meant forced me to face and grapple with the ministry model I had adhered to. Everything came to a standstill as I carefully navigated the profound implications of my encounter with God.
Our ministry team comprised exceptionally gifted and skilled people, creating an environment where we could construct just about anything we envisioned. We undertook multiple expansions of our facilities and established a youth adventure camp, complete with a 1,200-square-foot lodge situated in a 17-acre forest.
This dedicated group accomplished significant feats, including the addition of restrooms at three teen center locations where none existed. We moved load-bearing walls and crafted an indoor waterfall towering six feet high, accompanied by a meandering pond containing live fish, all surrounded by murals painted on the sixteen-foot high by twenty-foot long walls.
There was very little on the physical side of the ministry that we couldn't achieve. Our venue was cool, contemporary, and vibrant, yet it lacked the one thing I sought most—a youth group to disciple. All of my creative outlets were designed to draw teenagers who would be evangelized, saved, and discipled. This was my training and is the goal of most youth leaders. To evangelize and disciple is God’s will. We do not dismiss this high calling, but how we measure success is dangerous. God’s call on my life was going to be realized in a much different way. My journey to make disciples would not follow the traditional evangelical script which brings us back to that direct and unequivocal statement from the Spirit.
The Spirit’s words forever changed how I look at myself, others, and discipleship. God said, “I called you into ministry to change you.” Insert here a long pause. A pause that lasted weeks that were filled with reflection and sorrow and everything in between. I was wrecked and weary. Two thoughts eventually arose.
First, I had assumed my role as leader was to create a vast outreach through the establishment of strategic goals and vision, and that my calling was to lead people in the direction I thought they should go. After all, I had seminary training. Those notions placed a heavy burden on me to perform which caused me to use people to my ends while all along believing those ends were God’s ends as well. Such a conviction needed evaluation and discernment. I believe a similar conviction is present today in many leaders. That is, “the way I do things is God’s way.” It’s the way he wants things done. This presumption lacks humility and it diminishes God’s role. If I have the plan, and if I believe it is God’s plan, I rarely seek his wisdom as I implement my plan. An important subpoint must be included here.
I am an introvert. I do not have a large friend group nor do I seek out other people. This is a significant disadvantage. I was not surrounding myself with other opinions or ideas. I was isolated and blind to the needs around me. The situation became more exasperated the longer it continued. Despite the failures and frustrations, God remained faithful. Relationships begun at the teen center flourished and new ones were made. Mistakes were made even while wonderful people entered our lives. Initially, I blamed God but soon realized the blame was on me. But even then, God offered hope.
God’s second response was a reminder that he intends to conform his children to the image of Jesus (Rom 8:29). That was the moment I discovered that my calling is to be guided by the Spirit in the company of others and not a leader who rules over others. Over the next 15 years, as I reflected on my newfound purpose in God’s kingdom, my perception of ministry changed. At that time I experienced what Alan Roxburgh and Martin Robinson define as “unraveling,”[2] where the proclivity of my heart leaned toward people rather than programs and facilities. Then it happened, I eased my grip on the ministry, acknowledging that this was God’s mission, not mine, and He could direct it as He saw fit. It may sound unusual, but I genuinely gave permission to God to enact His will, and that's exactly what unfolded. It was a realization that, for the first time, I comprehended that this endeavor was entirely His.
A year after that pivotal encounter, we sensed a strong conviction to leave the building we had occupied for over 18 years. I contacted a realtor, expressing my willingness to start anew with a smaller venue, trusting the Lord to lead. We felt truly free to walk with Jesus, understanding that it all belonged to Him. Almost immediately, I received a text about a property downtown, just two doors away from our first teen center location. It was vast, in desperate need of repair, and available with a land contract sale option. I wondered about God's plan – I had envisioned a quaint meeting room for building relationships with teens, but this opportunity demanded time, fundraising (which I despised), and help from others.
God was guiding me away from self-sufficiency. If we bought the property, our dependence on others would be secured, eliminating isolation. Our board members agreed to the purchase, and we embarked on the seemingly impossible mission of renovating a structure that the City council had considered demolishing.
Beginning this new chapter with sincere excitement, Antoinette and I delved into extensive discussions about the prospects, approaching the situation cautiously but with a shared belief that it was God's plan for our ministry. In 2011, we decided to move back downtown, bidding farewell to the name "Non-Toxic Teen Center" and choosing a more community-descriptive title, "The Teen Center." Through the land contract purchase, we secured a permanent location in the heart of our community.
The historic significance of the property prompted generous contributions from residents, supporting the large-scale renovation needed for this downtown gem. Over 18 months, a total of $100,000 was raised through donations from community members, businesses, churches, and tax increment financing grants designated for downtown renewal. In January 2015, an additional $140,000 was secured, enabling us to make a cash payment towards the final installment of the land contract. To match a $75,000 pledge made by businessman Jeffrey Helgesen, a collaborative effort ensued, with individuals, churches, businesses, civic groups, and government agencies contributing towards the purchase. This collective support played a crucial role in realizing our vision for the Teen Center.
An extraordinary collaborative initiative took shape as hundreds of volunteers united to revive the historic structure. The extensive work encompassed the removal and replacement of decayed sections in the 3,000-square-foot ground level. Every aspect underwent renovation, including the ceiling, new footings in the basement, floors, the demolition and reconstruction of 16-foot-high walls, and the complete overhaul of the mechanical systems.
By 2014, new national building codes forced the entire infrastructure to undergo a comprehensive transformation, encompassing the replacement of all wiring, electrical service, heating systems, ductwork, and plumbing supply and drain lines. These efforts collectively contributed to the successful revitalization of the renowned edifice.
Façade changes in the 1950s-60s had been applied to contemporize the structure and these had to be removed. Within 18 months, the renovations were completed, and the teen center reopened downtown with a new name, new location, and renewed popularity. The revitalization of this significant structure injected fresh energy into a declining downtown, marking a turning point for both the ministry and Dave’s role in the community.
Recreating the landmark structure, coupled with our reputation of working with teens for over two decades, garnered recognition from local civic and government leaders, as well as foundations. Awards and accolades poured in, symbolizing a shift in community perception. Despite early skepticism surrounding our mission due to the at-risk students we often served, the community's acceptance since 2013 has been noteworthy.
Dave received the Citizen of the Year award from the Police Department, the Paul Harris Fellow from Rotary International in the same year, and the Spirit of Philanthropy honor from the Community Foundation of Southern Wisconsin. These awards highlight the current positive reputation we enjoy, especially since relocating downtown and re-entering the public eye. It's noteworthy that over the initial 18 years of active ministry, there was little recognition. Before the accolades and awards, the Lord began pruning the very ideals and strategies that initially inspired us to create the ministry.
The New Teen Center Facility.
The distinguished three-story cream-colored brick building underwent a thorough alteration, being gutted and remodeled. Despite the changes, the enduring scent emanating from its limestone-walled foundation and the exposed earthen basement floor remain a constant presence throughout the facility. The first thing one notices upon entering the center is the 40-foot-long horseshoe-shaped counter with brick corner posts. The wood and brick counter was crafted from repurposed material salvaged during the demolition phase. The 3,000-square feet room boasts newer solid pine flooring, providing a warm and welcoming ambiance. Fifteen maple bar stools with burgundy-colored seats and backrests offer ample seating for the numerous conversations that unfold each week.
From the front door, a patron may meander right toward the art arena that offers an assortment of tables and chairs, a concert stage, an air hockey table, and video counsels that project across a 12-foot wide screen hanging over the stage. On the 16-foot-high exposed brick wall hangs eight acoustic and electric guitars. On the two-foot-high stage are a Roland electric drum kit and a Yamaha digital keyboard. Musical instruments are free for teens to use during daily activities.
When a teen veers left upon entry, she will find four billiard tables stationed end to end with matching light fixtures crowning each table, a foosball table, a bumper pool table, an electronic basketball game, and counter space from which we serve popcorn, treats, and snacks. Six light fixtures hang evenly spaced over the counter and feature Edison bulbs that recreate an early twentieth-century atmosphere.
Cream-colored brick walls run 15 feet high from floor to ceiling and extend the length of the 66-foot-long room. Low-wattage ambiance-emitting light fixtures are spaced evenly on the exposed brick walls every eight feet. The recreational arena is 22 feet wide by 66 feet long.
Straight past the pool tables is the kitchen and through the kitchen is the skills training workshop. Here, education in the professional trades is offered by local professional machinists, welders, electricians, and mechanics who volunteer their time and expertise. Two lathes, three welders, and a milling machine are accessible to teens. On the mezzanine floor is a digital recording studio. The walls and ceilings in the live room and production room of the studio are covered with charcoal and burgundy-colored sound absorption material.
To these indoor activities was added an adventure camp—Bear Claw Lodge. The secluded rustic lodge offers a spacious 1,200 square feet of living space. It is an off-grid and solar-powered base camp from where we enjoy kayaking, fishing, ATV trail riding, hiking, and other adventures in Wisconsin’s wild north woods. The camp was constructed by volunteers and funded through donations.
Our conviction to remain a volunteer-led organization highlights the belief that when people unite, great achievements can be realized at minimal costs. This emphasis on collective effort and volunteerism reflects a commitment to community engagement and the pursuit of impactful goals without excessive financial burden. We own properties in two counties and remain debt-free.
The Limitations and Personal Challenges
The challenges we encounter while working with teenagers are substantial, primarily arising from our position as outsiders. The outsider status can present hurdles as we seek to understand and connect with the unique experiences and perspectives of the teenage demographic. As leaders, we need to be conscious of our position of power over the youth, which has the potential to hinder the establishment of mutual trust and acceptance.
We do not experience the same pressures, worries, and fears that many teenagers struggle with. Being three generations removed from current teens, the process of gaining trust unfolds gradually. The dynamics of building trust, particularly with a different generation, require time, understanding, and consistent effort to bridge gaps and establish meaningful connections. The duty is on us to serve them. Given the brief and sporadic nature of my interactions with them, I aspire to foster lifelong relationships. The nature of a teen center carries with it a high turnover rate. People are only teens for a brief period and attendance is procured on their terms.
The reimagination of the outreach has been a surprising journey, marked by unforeseen opportunities and provisions. Guided by the Spirit, we embarked on a journey of discovery, where God's purpose was unveiled through moments of failure, frustration, and submission. What initially appeared as an endpoint turned out to be just the beginning, with God orchestrating far more than we could have imagined.
My encounter with the Spirit led me to willingly surrender the reins of ministry to him, only to discover that He was eager to share the responsibility with us. During this period of discovery, there was a notable shift in focus from a top—down programming approach to a personal engagement approach. Through meaningful conversations, we unearthed profound suffering, turmoil, and mental anguish among the youth. The depth of brokenness revealed during these interactions compelled me to dedicate my Doctoral research to the study of adolescent anguish.
We will delve into the layers of anguish, offering insights gained from navigating the minefield of anxiety and depression that afflicts our youth. The aim is to share what we have learned in the hope that it may serve as a valuable resource for others facing similar challenges. As we step into a new chapter, the unfolding story aims to convey how the transformative work of the Spirit within us became the catalyst for changing the ministry model. My attitude, vision, motivation, and imagination were newly formed.
[1] Aubrey Malphurs, Planting Growing Churches for the 21st Century, A Comprehensive Guide for New Churches and Those Desiring Renewal (Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1992)140.
[2] Roxburgh and Robinson, Practices for the Refounding of Gods People, 96